Cave People Didn’t Have Candy Bars.

As a wellness consultant/coach for company wellness programs, I work a lot with clients who want to change one or more areas of their overall wellbeing. Physical health, relational health etc. I often hear comments like, “I know with my mind I need to do such and such but then I never do it. Why can I not get control of this?” Change can be hard, that’s for sure. The thing is change does not have to be hard if you understand two things. First, the thing that you are trying to change is most likely happening due to a bad habit. That bad habit was created out of a need to feel something pleasurable. We all like pleasurable feeling. The quickest way to a feeling of pleasure is what our body wants to do regardless of if our mind says otherwise. Humans are wired to seek pleasant feelings over unpleasant feelings. Once you understand that, the second thing to understand is that your desire for chocolate, for instance, is not hard wired. To feel pleasure is hard wired but how you achieve that pleasurable feeling is 100% in your control. The desire for chocolate developed after several times of reaching for sugar when you felt “stressed”. Think of it this way, cave men didn’t have chocolate candy bars, therefore, they didn’t crave it to make them feel better. Our world has evolved and introduced countless was to make us “feel good”. We will never stop desiring a sense of pleasure; however, the good news is you can rewire yourself to feel pleasure from the healthier things in life.  You literally can change your craving for chocolate into a craving for broccoli. You must equate in your brain the pleasure that comes with the healthier choice. Here is the scenario: You are at work and you are extremely stressed out (unpleasant feeling). You decide to go get a candy bar to “de-stress” (candy bar = pleasant feeling). That good feeling, however, only lasts a few minutes because guilt creeps in. You know you’re gaining weight and approaching the need to go shopping to buy bigger clothes. That reality makes you feel horrible about yourself.  In minutes that pleasurable feeling you got from the candy bar turns into a very unpleasant feeling. And then you repeat. “Well, I blew it with the candy bar so I might as well stop and get a cheeseburger and fries for dinner.” That thought to action pattern is then established as an unhealth habit. Now, here’s how to conquer that desire for a candy bar. You are at work and extremely stressed out. You have a craving for a candy bar. You absolutely do not want to go shopping to buy bigger clothes. This one time you make the choice to grab a whole grain granola bar with some little chocolate chips instead of that full size candy bar. Surprisingly, you feel satisfied and proud of yourself for doing things a little different. Later that week, you are stressed again and ready for that sweet treat. You recall that eating the healthier option a couple days ago made you feel just as good, if not better, so this time you grab a banana instead of granola bar. Now, you beat your craving for a candy bar twice, you feel satisfied and feel really good about yourself with a grin on your face that says, “No bigger clothes for me!” Do this a couple more times when you feel stressed and before you know it you are craving the sweet taste of a banana or apple and soon, you’ll be going shopping but not to buy the next size up but instead to buy the next size smaller. Keeping a mindset of “the cave man didn’t have this” will help you focus on the fact that unhealth habits are self-created in an effort to feel pleasure.  We get to choose what action we take to get us to that feeling of pleasure. When you recognize the benefit of the unhealthy habit fulfilling your need for pleasure quickly turns unpleasant again you begin to realize it’s not worth it anymore and seek a better outcome for yourself than the temporary fix of a candy bar.