Everybody Has Somethin’

As I look back on my years as a coach, I can think of countless issues that I’ve helped my clients navigate. Most life challenges and problems are similar as humanly issues but there is always an element strictly unique to my client. No matter the complexity of my client’s challenge/issue I have to start somewhere in the coaching process, and it usually starts with the comment, "Everybody has somethin’!” At first, you might think this is a horrible coaching phrase as if to downplay what someone is going through by saying “you are not unique”. That, however, is absolutely the opposite of the direction I’m going. While it is true, we all have issues which can be similar to someone else’s issue, each person has a different element making it unique to that person. This difference points out the fact that the problem is unique to that individual’s life specifically. When something is unique to one person it creates a sense of ownership. With this, I begin the “Everybody has somethin’” mindset coaching. Once you can admit, “Everybody has somethin’” BUT this (specific issue) is MY something.”, you are on your way to improvement The first step in overcoming any issue is to first admit it is in fact an issue, accept that it is “YOUR” issue and take ownership. When you claim it, you gain control and can begin to analyze your specific role in the creation of the problem you are facing. This then gives you the ability to find ways to change the things that you are doing which is contributing to the problem. The other elements of the matter which is not related to something you are doing goes into the category of out of your control and you can begin to release ownership of that portion. This process puts any problem into perspective and makes it more manageable when, otherwise, it may feel overwhelming and useless. There are also situations when the client realizes is “MY” issue but literally there is nothing they can do to change it. The entire issue is totally out of their control. This realization also makes a way forward. Learning how to let go and accept things as they are, sets you free from trying to control something totally out of your control. The “Everybody has somethin’ and this is MY somethin’” mindset, helps you gain control and begin to see a way forward.