STOP Telling Yourself NO

Ask yourself this one question, “How many times do I tell myself NO during the day?” “No, I can’t do that.” or “No, I can’t have that.” It doesn’t seem like a real motivator, does it? Good news is, there is a reason why and a way to change this way of thinking. There is a certain age group out there, (you know who you are) who were raised with the word “No” being said to us a lot. It wasn’t because our parents were mean or didn’t want us to have the things or do the things we wanted. It was because a large majority of our parents were raised in financially conservative homes. Likewise, their parents were raised the same way. The “No Mindset” is quite literally taught and passed on. Hearing the word “No” so often as a child sets the stage for the “No Mindset” as an adult. This mindset so often prevents us from even trying to get what we want because our initial response to our own wants and desires is “No”, therefore, we go no further. Think about something you would like to have or do. Then analyze how you are talking to yourself about it. For example, you want a raise at work. Why haven’t you asked? You know you are putting in the time, you’ve done a good job, yet you haven’t asked. I’m willing to bet the only reason you haven’t asked is because you’ve already made the decision for your boss, and it’s a big ol’ NO. We feared the word “No” as a child. Then as we got used to hearing the word “No” we stopped fearing it because we stopped asking and just started telling ourselves “No”. The thing is, now as adults, we still fear the word “No” but we’ve learned to combat that fear by simply telling ourselves “No”. The fact is, when we want something, we are so programmed to tell ourselves that we can’t have it that we 100% of the time prevent ourselves from attaining what it is that we want. The really bad thing is, the “No Mindset” goes even deeper into our thought patterns. This mindset can be so severe that it hinders the ability to act towards self-improvement like weight loss or even going for that promotion at work. The reason why is because “No” is often followed by “I can’t.” “No” and “I can’t” create the lack mindset. The “Lack Mindsets” almost completely prevents action. I will get into the “Lack Mindset” in articles still to come. I once was a “No Mindset” person until I intentionally worked on changing my mindset to become a “Why not?” person. I learned to overcome fear of the word “No”, from a friend of mine. She would say, “It’s always a “NO”, if you don’t ask.” Literally, you increase your chances of getting what you want by 50% by asking. Then if you get a “NO” response, it actually puts the ball back in your court. If you are told no, your next question should be, “Why not?” This question should always give you an answer to an action step, something that you are in control of to act upon and get you closer to the YES.