Stop Chasing Happiness
Everyone at some time or another has said something like, “All I want is to be happy.” Happiness is definitely a worthwhile thing to want but it is not truly the answer to long lasting contentment and peace. Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “happiness comes for what’s happening.” Happiness is caused by outside external events. When things around us are not going our way, we are generally not happy about it, however, when we perceive what is happening around us as good and going our way we generally feel happy.
I have learned to stop making happiness a priority and have acquired a mindset of seeking internal peace instead. Peace can be experienced in all circumstances no matter what is “happening” around us. Here are some tips to help you work on a mindset of peace.
1.) Stop thinking you need to always be happy. The truth is, sometimes bad things happen and it’s not fun and doesn’t make us feel happy. However, in all situations there are ways that we can evolve and grow into better humans. In unhappy times, focus on seeking out the silver lining. You will always find one.
2.) Stop trying to change other people. If you think you can “change” someone into what you want, you are simply 100% incorrect. If someone is not meeting a need you have, it is up to you to determine how you yourself can satisfy that need. Trying to change other people is a total waste of time and will always lead to failure and unhappiness by way of disappointment.
3.) Stop trying to impress or win the approval of others. If you think someone does not approve of you and/or your choices, ask yourself this question. Why do I NEED this persons approval? Needing other peoples approval usually boils down to a self-worth condition. Yes, it is nice to think that everyone likes you and approves of everything you do, however, this is just not reality. This is even more-so not true if you are a person on a mission to reach your potential and fulfill your purpose in life. Someone will always be there to try and knock you down.
Lastly, let go of grudges, resentments and unforgiveness. These 3 things are the biggest thief to internal peace and happiness both. Whenever you hold a grudge in your heart, you are not doing anything to that other person at all. The only person you are hurting is you. Same is true for resentment. Accepting that things in life are sometimes unfair and believing that in every situation there is still something of value for your betterment is one of the best mindsets to practice for long lasting peace. We cannot always control what happens in life but ultimately we do have control over how we respond.
And let’s not forget about unforgiveness. In my estimation, unforgiveness in the heart is the single biggest block to attaining true inner peace. Accepting that it hurts to be wronged, mistreated or taken advantage of is key to attaining the level of peace that we all want out of life. Whenever I feel hurt or wronged by others I try to focus on these words “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” Matthew 6:14.