Mindset of Forward Motion
Most people have heard the saying, “I fell on my face.” In other words, I tried something, and I failed. These are the moments that can stay trapped in the recesses of an individual’s mind for years. I have seen this firsthand in my coaching practice. I have had clients genuinely want to try something new or expand on what they are already striving toward only to make excuses, procrastinate and lollygag along and never make any real progress. If I identify that a client is struggling to make progress towards a goal or a life change, we dig in to explore what could possibly be causing him/her to stumble. Often, we discover that their inability to move forward is rooted in fear. Fear of failure that we trace back to the moments in life that they perceive a failure. Personally, I have experienced a few “fall on my face” moments in life. In those moments, I had a choice. Initially, I did let it hold me back. I feared failure. I thought, if I fail AGAIN, people will say, “Yeah, I knew she couldn’t…” The thing was everyone around me was speaking words of encouragement and support, however, I dismissed those words. I chose not to listen to them but rather listen to the negative voice of defeat in my own head. It never was, “I knew SHE couldn’t do it…” it was “I know I can’t do it.” I realized that everyone around me believed in me, but I was the one who didn’t believe in me. I had to charge the way I felt about failure. I began to view failure as progress. I began to think, falling short is progress if I then look at why whatever didn’t work out. I began to analyze why something didn’t work rather than throwing my hands in the air in defeat. I realized, there is always another way and an opportunity to do something different to move forward. What helped me grasp this thought was the visualization of someone literally falling forward as if to “fall on their face”. When they place their arms down in a way to get up, like a push-up, they still must step forward to fully stand up. Forward motion. Falling does not have to hurt, if you attain a mindset of forward motion. I personally believe a person does not “fail” at something unless they quit. Here are a couple things to try if you are struggling with a fear of failure. Take a few moments each day and visualize yourself getting up just like I described. Feel yourself stepping forward. Also, meditate on the things that you did succeed at. We all have experienced accomplishments in our life, but we rarely stay focused on those successes because we tend to strive toward the next thing keeping us in a constant state of lack or not measuring up. Taking a step back and remembering your successes is a great way to refocus to keep moving forward.