Peeling Back the Layers.
Most of us don’t have any trouble describing what our perfect life would look like. It probably looks something like this: I would have plenty of money to have the things I want, but also have plenty of time to spend doing the things I want to do and, of course, have friends and loved ones to share in the fun with, all while making a positive impact on the world around me. There may be a few other things you would throw in there but, in my experience as a coach, this pretty much sums up a great life for most people. So, why do so few people actually attain the life they want? I believe the answer to this question is that, as humans, we make things too complicated. For example, “I want plenty of money.” When I ask most people what “plenty of money” is, they really can’t say because they give a number but then start saying a bunch of “what if’s” and then the number goes so high they just laugh and say, “I guess I need to win the lottery.” Same is true for the “plenty of time.” When I ask, people say, “I just need more time.” Then, I will say something like, “So, you want to be retired?” The response most of the time is, “Well, not fully retired, I still want to do something else.” This is not a matter of having more time this is matter of wanting to be more fulfilled in your everyday role in life. It’s really not about “time” at all. To be more satisfied with life, you must start peeling back the layers to the things you desire. Ask the questions, “Why do I need/want more money?” Is it really to buy more stuff or is it about comfort and security or are you truly not making ends meet? Why do you need more time, is it that you are not doing what you really would like to be doing for a living or are you overcommitted in your personal life, therefore, leaving no room for your own needs to be met? The part of friends and loved ones really just comes down to being a basic desire of our heart. We were created for love and created to be relational people. Same is true for the desire to be a positive influence in the world. At our core, we all have a desire to feel a certain level of importance and to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Consequently, often times the lack of these last things could actually be a core reason for needing more time and/or more money. If you are feeling stuck in certain areas of your life, I encourage you to start peeling back the layers. You must determine the root cause for your discontentment. The fact is, each of us are much closer to the contentment we really want if we get to the core of our desires. It is important to understand our core desires are truly not complicated. When you realize your core desire is not to win the lottery you are one step closer to discovering what you truly want in life. Once you have identified your core needs and desires, you are on your way to a much more satisfying, content and fulfilling life.